DREAMS OF EPIC ADVENTURE
- Vocalist — Protagonist
- Lead Guitar — Love interest
- Rhythm Guitar — Wingman (to the love interest)
- Bassist — Axe Wielding Sidekick (to the protagonist)
- Drummer — Antagonist
- Keyboardist — Antagonist
- Flutist — Ancient Wizard (a neutral observer)
- Power Quest
- Ancient Bards
- Sonata Arctica
- Blind Guardian
This will become a free PDF soon. Enjoy!
February 14, 2014 No Comments
Tonight a few relatively small events combined to form a Voltron of lonliness and sad.
The first was the twitter hashtag #fatmicroaggressions which I note affect me, though the descriptions of social interactions are distinctly different. However the structural items are exceedingly familiar. Nothing has ever fit me particularly well.
The second was an article on Autism describing a new way of thinking dubbed the “Intense World” theory. And I found myself intensely identifying with their description of what they thought was occurring and then being described as autism.
The third was an outing to a gathering of about a dozen people for a weekly bar outing – tonight is Lisa's birthday pubnight. Unfortunately, the place immediately set off all of my “can't handle being here” buttons. The music was loud, the group of people large, and the little cocktail tables too small. I told Lisa that I was sorry but I could not stay.
As I left, I was struck by this wave of sadness and intense feeling of loneliness. My normal Night's Black Agents game was to be tonight, but scheduling issues combined to cancel the game. So now I'm sitting along in a coffee shop trying to collect my thoughts and feelings on what just happened!? And more relevantly, does it actually mean anything or am I just hardcore empathizing with the items I read today and quietly self-diagnosing?
I am given to be skeptical of drawing meaning from tonight's events. They're not that unusual in my life. I get uncomfortable in loud places with too many people I don't know, and if there's no way to focus that anxiety, I handle it by getting out. And if I can't get out, I get intoxicated as fast as possible. It's not a solution I particularly like, but it's one that relieves the anxiety. I'm drinking a strong beer now. It doesn't relieve the loneliness, but it dulls the anxiety and sadness. I've still got the empty pit-in-stomach feeling that something is wrong, and I still don't know what (if anything) to do about it.
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